Contact

For the first time in years, I had contact with some people from college.

I suppose that’s a bit of an exaggeration, since I have had extremely sporadic and limited communication with a couple of them over the eight years since I graduated college. But by sporadic, I mean less than 10 emails.

Alethia got married!

I didn’t get to take as many pictures as I wanted, but even if I would have tried, they probably wouldn’t have turned out. The lighting wasn’t conducive to photography during the wedding.

As I sat in the sanctuary, looking at the back of Alethia’s head, I remembered my life when I knew her. In fact, I journaled back then (the real journaling, where no one reads what you’ve journaled but you), and I recently looked up some of my thoughts from way back then. What a mystical place that portion of my past is! The most painful hurts, and the most joyous realizations happened to me during the time I knew Alethia. Back then, we cried on each other’s shoulder, we laughed at and with each other. She was a good friend – imperfect, human, and raw. I loved her for it.

But as I sat on that bench in the sanctuary, watching the back of her head, I realized that I don’t know her anymore. Not that it is a bad thing, since life sometimes takes people away from you, but I mourned the years I’ve been disconnected from this person.

Then I realized that behind me sat three other people that I spent time with in college. Jessica, Stacy, and Amy. What amazing, beautiful people. I mourned the time I spent disconnected from them, too.

But it wasn’t the first time I mourned. When I was younger I was a self-righteous fool. I thought that leaving behind people you loved, cared for, and who (at least seemingly) cared for you was a sign of strength. It was a sign of internal fortitude and spiritual reliance on God. I thought it made me more healthy to dispense with relationships – even good ones.

I was wrong. And as life and God taught me the real importance of relationships, I learned I could grieve over the loss of my friends - over the complete and total divorce from my past that I had inflicted upon myself. When I could find time and room to feel safe, I cried over the bridges I had let rot. I cried the deep cry of the despondent, and I felt for the first time the kind of loss so many of the Psalms convey. A lot of my personal theology was forged during this time.

After the wedding, we all went to the reception. I got to sit with Stacy, Amy, and Jessica. I felt like I was sitting at the cool kids’ table. I got to see Amy’s beautiful daughter Sadie, and catch up on the path their life is taking as they surrender to being full-time ministers. I got to catch up with Jessica, her thoughts about education, and her long-term goals to teach. I got to hear about Stacy’s path after college, her time in Lake Charles and the move to Monroe. It was all positively riveting. Every moment was healing as I got the chance of a lifetime to build new bridges.


My guess is that it will be at least a decade before I see any of them again. But this time I got contact information, and said goodbye in such a way that I can still relate to them. The (re)creation of my blog is an attempt to stay in contact with their world.


So, to Alethia, Amy, Jessica, and Stacy – this entry is for you. Here’s to the memories, both old ones, current ones, and ones yet to come.